Naked from the forehead down, lying in their coffins gumming Salisbury steak, an entire generation of despondent, forgotten consumers was left with just one thing on which to spend their government checks: Hale's tepid, senior-friendly tales of modest suspense. By 1963, only four items remained: hats, meat, caskets, and Saxton Hale's Mildly Thrilling Tales. responded by raising its usual price of twelve cents an issue to twenty, reasoning that if anyone was going to get something for free, they were going to pay for it.Īs the youth movement of the 1960s escalated, manufacturers produced fewer and fewer products for the elderly. When the government demanded the comic be issued for free, Mann Co. Saxton Hale's Mail Storm had its first and only issue published in March 1964 to help explain the new Federal recall of all 36 million Gold Coast-Tweed personal apple corers, due to their tendency to not only core apples, but fingers, lamps, and small furry animals. Jumping off a thrown Scout to punch that Yeti into a mess of blood and gibs.Slamming the last living Yeti with a Scout.Having a website made up entirely of absolutely true Saxton Hale facts.Discovering the existence of the Internet and starting the Mann Co.Publishing a special issued magazine (at a price of 20 cents per issue, even though it was demanded to be free) to answer questions made by his fans about, among other things, playing Team Fortress 2 on a Mac.Introducing the Crafting system to both the RED and BLU teams in an effort to stop the war.Being in no way involved with the explosive death of the American monkeynaut Poopy Joe, nor being anywhere near the launch site at the time.Firebombing Woodstock from a helicopter.Becoming the fourth richest man in America.Becoming the wealthiest man in the Western Hemisphere.Inventing Jarate, the JAR-Based karate.Retrieving a stolen puck from a thieving tortoise despite its thirty minute head start.Single-handedly wiping out the Indonesian Berserker Shark (and making them cry).Fighting off a lion while simultaneously having a haircut.Teaching his Girl Scout troop, the "Saxtonettes", fire safety tips such as " Grizzly bears burn".Saxton Hale is voiced by JB Blanc in the Jungle Inferno video. He is known (and feared) for his belief in handling customer service issues personally, with his official policy being: "If you aren't 100% satisfied with our product line, you can take it up with me!" His inspiring image is also featured on numerous Mann Co. He also fills out customer forms with tick-boxes to either intimidate any product-thieving rivals or commend new inventors submitting a new product idea to him. His boisterous presence is felt in all areas of the company, from the slogan "We sell products and get in fights" to Gorilla Wrestling Fridays – his attempt at employee morale building. since Zepheniah Mann left its ownership to loyal aide and tracker Barnabus Hale in his last will and testament. Saxton is the most current male of the Hale family to take up the reins of Mann Co. He also refuses to wear clothes on his upper body "for obvious reasons". His identifying features include a mustache, rippling muscles, a crocodile-tooth lined hat, and a patch of rotating chest hair shaped like Australia. In fact, most kids sleep with a teddy bear at night, but Saxton Hale sleeps with an actual bear that he tamed while in the Brazilian Jungles. His favorite pastimes include fighting, drinking, and battling with ferocious animals. He was the sixth richest man in America, but surpassed the fifth by wealth and the fourth by killing him in a harpoon duel. He is considered the fourth richest man in America. Saxton Hale is a daring Australian, President and CEO of Mann Co., and the star of many comics series.
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